Every Colour Of You by Amelia Mandeville
What happens when someone who lives every day to the full meets someone who can only see reasons to stop living?
We had a story – short, but not a simple one. I couldn’t stay here and explain it all to you. If you really want to know, you’ll have to take time out of your day.
You’ll have to read it…
Zoe’s life is full of colour. A fan of impromptu yoga, inspirational quotes and experimenting with hair dye, she’s on a mission to make the most of each and every day – even if she is currently spending most of her time behind a checkout till.
Then she meets Tristan. The rumour is that since his dad died, Tristan’s life has fallen apart. No one has seen him for months. But now he’s reappeared, does that mean he’s back to ‘normal’?
Zoe soon realises Tristan is struggling with a sadness that she can’t possibly understand and becomes determined to bring a world of colour back into his life. But the harder she tries, the more she realises it’s something she can’t fix – and in trying to put him back together, a part of her is beginning to fall apart. . .
Hardback published by Little Brown Book Group on 15th November 2018.
I am finding it incredibly difficult to review this book because I am not sure how it left me feeling, or more to the point how I can connect all of the different things it left me feeling. This has taken me a week to digest to come to a point where I can write down my thoughts.
Firstly, it is an exceptional piece of writing and accurately portrays depression in a very raw and hard-hitting story. I was blown away by all the little intricacies of what depression can be like and how people react/struggle. It is full of emotion and when you have been in that inner whirlwind of someone that is mentally unwell it is definitely so familiar, but therefore so raw and affecting. It doesn’t glorify it, or trivialise it. You come away from the book well aware (if you weren’t before) how things like grief, depression, alcoholism and trauma all affect how people cope and how they treat those closest to them. Therefore, this book is so well executed and accurate.
However, I hated how Zoe is left hurt and deeply affected by Tree’s actions and inability to empathise with others. There was a lot of “ughh why do that?” moments as I was reading their story. This was a very destructive and detrimental friendship at many points and though I know it had to be, it couldn’t just be all fluffy and “boy meets girl and suddenly everything is fixed”, but it was excruciating to see someone as vibrant and optimistic as Zoe lose her shine, jump through hoops and destroy herself to try to fix him. So there is this element of me feeling that this was a brilliant book, but also hating much about it, but then that’s also what makes it brilliant.
I know the author has a YouTube channel with her sister but I am completely unaware of it or what content they discuss so I am not sure if they cover mental health quite a bit or have disclosed their own experiences perhaps? So anything covered in this review is purely about the book and my thoughts on it, not related to anything the author may have covered on their channel.
Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for giving me this opportunity to review this book in my own words.